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How to Kick Off Your Fantasy Football League in Epic Seattle Style

Tips for a successful, Seahawks-themed start to your fantasy football season

By Kirsten Abel August 17, 2015

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Do a Mock Draft (or seven)

Mock drafting lets you try out strategies without the risk of getting stuck with a horrible team. For example, here’s the result of one ESPN mock draft I did where I tried to pick as many Seahawks players as possible.

Round 1: Marshawn Lynch – RB
Round 2: Calvin Johnson – WR
Round 3: Russell Wilson – QB
Round 4: Jimmy Graham – TE
Round 5: Todd Gurley – RB
Round 6: Nelson Agholor – WR
Round 7: Darren McFadden – RB
Round 8: Shane Vereen – RB
Round 9: Eric Decker – WR
Round 10: Duke Johnson – RB
Round 11: Fred Jackson – RB
Round 12: Theo Riddick – RB
Round 13: Doug Baldwin – WR
Round 14: Steven Hauschka – K
Round 15: Donte Moncrief – WR
Round 16: Lions Defense – D/ST

It’s not the best team (I probably chose a kicker two rounds too early and I didn’t get Seattle’s defense, which went in the 12th round), but it’s not awful, and with all those Seahawks players it would be especially fun to root for my team on Sundays.

Get Hooked on a Podcast

Fantasy Focus Football
This is Matthew Berry’s daily podcast in which he gives some pretty comprehensive fantasy advice. Football injury analyst Stephania Bell also makes appearances on the show every week and provides helpful injury updates. It’s one of the only daily fantasy podcasts, and it will familiarize you with the players you should know about going into your draft.

Around the NFL
This one doesn’t contain a ton of fantasy football advice (although the podcasts during the week of 8/17 will be all about fantasy!), but it does cover football news and a lot of important players. In my opinion, it’s also the most entertaining show of these three.

Grantland NFL Podcast
Bill Barnwell is one of the more knowledgeable voices in football podcasting (and writing) right now, and Robert Mays really loves chatting about offensive line players. They talk some fantasy football, a little bit of Metallica, and a lot of other interesting and useful stuff.

Read the Rankings

1. ESPN’s projections are extensive, and feature a small paragraph on every player you might think about drafting this season. Its Top 300 Cheat Sheet is also excellent, as it holds everything you need (including bye weeks) on one printable page.

2. You can toggle back and forth between standard and PPR in The New York Times’ rankings.

3. USA Today lets you compare the positional rankings of several major sports websites via a simple dropdown menu.

4. The NFL ranks all the quarterbacks in the league based on the difficulty of their schedules, and provides a list of players they think you should avoid.

Compete for Draft Order

Instead of letting your league site randomly assign the draft order, how about a coloring contest? A game of Dandy Shandy? A ping pong tournament, a chubby bunny competition, a contest to see who can grow the tallest bean plant between now and the date of the draft?

In my league, last season’s champion gets the first pick. To determine the subsequent draft order, each of the other nine players must submit a joke to the presiding champion, who will then rank them in order from funniest to dullest. Funniest gets the second pick. Dullest gets the last pick. Might this create controversy if the champion picks his or her best buddy’s joke? Absolutely! But friendly controversy makes for great competition later on in the season. Either that or people will quit. You have to know your league.

Craft a Witty (Seahawks-related) Team Name

The most important rule regarding team names is to always use the worst puns you can think of. Examples include Russelin’ Feathers, Jimmy Graham Crackers, Green Eggs & Graham, The Gilmore Earls, Not in My Hauschka, Russell Sprouts, Beauty and the Beastmode, At Largent and DangeRuss, and The Madden Kearse.

Give Out Prizes

If playing for bragging rights isn’t doing it for your league anymore, consider upping the ante (figuratively speaking, of course). Remember to implement any league changes before the draft date so that everyone has time to agree or disagree to the new rules.

Reward the Champion
A trophy is a must, and the weirder the better. For example, the trophy in my league is an enormous old drag racing trophy that my parents won in a church Spam-sculpting contest and that I found in their garage several years later. If you want to go the fancy route, you could try out this Seattle trophy shop. I suggest either this fantasy specific award or this swanky classic cup.

Reward the Consolation Bracket Winner
Everyone sets out with the goal of winning the league, but by week eight when you’re on a four-game losing streak, that goal will seem very far out of reach. When that happens, you need something else to play for other than the champion’s trophy. The best way to accomplish this is to create an incentive for the winner of the “loser’s bracket”. The prize could be anything from a smaller, cheaper trophy to a fifth of locally-distilled whiskey.

Punish the Loser (in a friendly manner)
Maybe the loser has to buy everyone a beer (or a cup of coffee) at some point during the next year. Or maybe the loser has to do standup comedy at an open mic night for as many minutes as they have losses in the regular season. My favorite punishment is karaoke, because it’s embarrassing but short-lived. In my league this year, the loser has to sing a karaoke song of the winner’s choosing. Awkward suggestions include “Barbie Girl” by Aqua, “Reflections” by Christina Aguilera, “White Trash Wedding” by Dixie Chicks, or “True Survivor” by David Hasselhoff. Seattle is full of great karaoke bars, including Rock Box, Seattle’s Best Karaoke, and The Rickshaw.

Host a Live Draft

If everyone in your league lives in the same general area, why not get together and have an in-person draft? Break out your fifth-grade science fair skills to make a draft board, print out your player ranking cheat sheets, and start picking teams. You can pretend you’re a real general manager drafting for a real football team, which is honestly what we’re all trying to convince ourselves by playing fantasy sports.

And if you want to go even bigger than a simple backyard barbecue draft, you can reserve a suite at CenturyLink Field for your live fantasy draft on September 7. It’s $85 per person, which includes a hot dog, snacks, a beer, a league photo, and a lot of truly priceless memories. Reservations close on August 21!

 

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