Best and Worst of 2014: Pot

Recreational marijuana comes to Seattle and the potrepreneurs are out in full force

By Mandolin Brassaw, Brangien Davis, John Levesque and Lisa Wogan December 22, 2014

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This article originally appeared in the December 2014 issue of Seattle magazine.

Legal
Have your cake and eat it, too (yum, cake!) with cannabis-infused cold-brew coffee. Perfect for: viewing Peter Jackson’s 11-hour extended-edition Lord of the Rings trilogy. Also available in full-chill form, as a non-caffeinated, spliff-enhanced sparkling soda. Warning: If you hear something go bump in your pantry, it might not be because you’re baked. Overly yeasted bottles of the pot-pomegranate flavor have been known to explode. $19, from Mirth Provisions in Longview, Washington

Magical Butter Machine
Part Vitamix, part Crock-Pot, part Ron Popeil fantasy (“set it and forget it!”), the Magic Butter machine makes conjuring cannabis-infused oils, tinctures and butters a simple at-home project. Just toss in some shake and a couple of sticks of butter or oil, turn on the machine and head out to work or the couch, whatever’s your thing. $174.95, from Magical Butter Studios in SoDo; magicalbutter.com

Zootblast
Forget about double-shot lattes. Zootblast-infused single shots feature 5 milligrams of THC blended with yerba mate tea and guarana (natural caffeine sources), B vitamins and quercetin from green tea. Ideal for: powering through a complete reorg of your vinyl collection. Other Zoots edibles include Zootrocks, chili-cinnamon- or lemongrass-flavored cannabis-infused nuggets; and Zootdrops in mandarin-lime Yippee Ki-Yay high-energy blend or lemon Kick Back relaxation blend. Around $25, from Zoots in SoDo

Small-batch Cannabis Syrups  
Trigger and satisfy your munchies in a never-ending feedback loop with this artisanal mixture of marijuana trim and ethanol. User instructions: Drizzle the coffee- and chicory-flavored Bagley Ave. Brew over French toast, ice cream, bacon, pancakes, bruschetta. Bliss out and repeat. Other flavors include Wallingford Wanderlust (fresh strawberries and peppercorn), Ballard Beat (blueberry and orange), Verdita Dragon (pineapple, lime and jalapeño) and Seattle Simple. From Craft Elixirs in Wallingford

Doobie
Yes, purists, you can still buy plain old hairy, sticky dope for at-home enjoyment. Strains available or grown in our area include: Seattle Cough, Headband, God’s Gift, Grape Ape, Purple Urkle, Romulan, White Rhino and the classic Maui Waui. Prices and highs vary.

The Original Canna Bus Tours
Tour Seattle in a cloud of Hindu Kush smoke. With 25 feet of comfortable seating, a custom-lit bar, sound system, tech lighting, built-in refrigerator and satellite TV with two flat-screen displays, the Canna Bus is like your basement during high school, but mobile and free of prying parents. Sightseeing tours include VIP access to a marijuana store. Note: The legality of these tours is a little fuzzy, but that’s how these guides like it. $50/person, 21 and older. Departs from outside The Blarney Stone.

While the products, details and prices on this faux catalog are all real, any testimony about taste or experience is entirely conjecture. At least, that’s our story and we are sticking to it.

This article originally appeared in our Best and Worst of 2014 story. For more Best and Worst, go here.

 

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