Love & Wisdom
Clarity: Becoming a Beginner
Change is inevitable. Let’s embrace it.
So, I shut up for the next minute or maybe even two. I stopped listening to what was being said and let my eyes wander around the studio before I began staring distantly at a spot on the wall above the window that looked out into the newsroom. I was like a pinball machine that had tilted.
Match Game
Online dating requires skill. Here’s a simple guide.
Your profile is the digital first impression. Unlike the real world, you can’t rely on natural charm, inexplicable chemistry, pheromones, or other intangibles humans have used to attract a mate for millennia. Everything boils down to the pivotal profile. The reality is, most people spend between three to seven seconds on a profile before swiping left or right. So, it’s in your best interest to put some thought into it.
How to Survive and Thrive During the Holidays
Firm boundaries aren’t just for cats
My cat kept jumping onto the bed as I made it. He’d dive into the folds, scratching my comforter. I set him on the floor and grabbed a nearby laundry basket, tipped it upside down, and trapped him underneath. He found this amusing. I finished the bed, then went on to make a few more. I forgot about him.
A Painful Lesson Learned
Regardless of circumstances, when hurt happens open your heart to injured parties
I grew up in a world, or ocean, of systemic white privilege. It’s sometimes hard to see, and sometimes understand, what I haven’t experienced. I was taught to see racism or misogyny or homophobia only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group.
Debate, Devour, Divide
How weaponized language spreads disinformation
Now, those on the left are using it to attack one another. In these online spaces, people tend to panic at the idea of being part of the problem. As a result, they try to position themselves as champions of a very perfect model of social justice that quickly shuts down anyone who doesn’t fit. People are trying to position themselves as the most moral individual with the best ideas and perfect grasp of language.
When Harry Met Allie
Not every meaningful connection results in love
I walk across the lobby toward the restaurant maitre’d, squeezing my abdominal muscles to balance in my heels on the marble floors. I identify my date from his photos sitting at a table in the back corner. To the chagrin of friends and family, I recently reset my dating app age preferences to max out at 45, not 40.
Gender-Bending in the Wilderness
Intense outdoor trip defied conventions
I had confidence in the team, even though this river had rapids that were rated as Class III and IV (translation: a little hair-raising and you get really wet), but I had taken a similar journey with the same company more than 15 years ago, so I knew there was going to be an emphasis on safety, and it would be exciting and well-executed. That said, I was nervous, though I wasn’t sure that my back and bladder were going to be as accommodating as they had been some years ago.
Papa and His Pronouns
A parent works to adjust to his young daughter’s preferences
I love my daughter. Although I’m not sure she’s my daughter. I now call her my child. My little monkey. Sparky. Love of my life. My kiddo. But never, ever, my little girl, even though she attends Seattle Girls School. Because when Valen turned 11 last year, she told her mother and I that she…
You’re Not Doing it Wrong
Navigating the soiled nest of family life
This morning, I found myself running late as I tried to get my daughter to the bus, but I wasn’t alone in my rush. There was a parade of cars driven by grumpy, frazzled parents eager to position themselves in front of the bus before the next stop. No one wants to miss the bus….
Capturing Hope
A picture is worth more than a thousand words
A year ago, 23-year-old Anika wouldn’t have recognized the person she is today, emerging from a scattered and difficult past with deep gratitude for the support she’s received. “My journey has been broken, lots of broken roads, and very narrow,” says Anika, who asked that her last name not be used. “But I’m on a…
Editor’s Note: An Experience That Lives Forever
The world isn't always as it seems
It was Friday night after a long week. I had just arrived home. The red light was flashing on my answering machine (remember those?). I was ready for the weekend. The call crushed me. My first love, my high school sweetheart, my partner in mischief, had passed away due to complications from Multiple Sclerosis. Gwen…
‘The Answer is in Us’
Equity expert Erin Jones encourages everyone to ‘show up for one another’
Erin Jones has a unique perspective on race. She was put up for adoption after her white birth mother’s family refused to let the mixed-race child come home. She was adopted by a white couple whose parents also struggled to accept her. She was raised in Minnesota until age 5, and then moved with her…
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