Our Predictions for NHL’s 2021 Seattle Debut
Our forecast for just how ‘Seattle’ our NHL team will be when it finally debuts in 2021
By John Levesque
April 17, 2019
Team Mascot and Name: Ideas for the team’s name—and matching mascot—have run the gamut from the “Sockeyes” to the “Kraken.” Since the Kraken is a mythical figure with no historical tie to Seattle (we can think of a better one, but the Sonics have dibs on ’Squatch), our bet is on “Sockeyes” (along with our vision for a corresponding mascot similar to Katy Perry’s Left Shark).
Equipment: A hockey puck is also called a biscuit. Given Seattle’s Scandinavian heritage, “kringle” will be the preferred nickname here. “Putting the biscuit in the basket”—hockey slang for scoring a goal—may roll off the tongue more easily than “putting the kringle in the kurv,” but, hey, a good cliché takes time.
Positions: It’s hard to find a right winger in a city that has a Marxist on its city council. The team’s Seattle-specific positions will more likely be known as “left wingers” and “alt-left wingers.”
Stadium Restaurants: Ethan Stowell—whose restaurant empire skews heavily Italian (Cortina, Tavolàta, etc.)—is the first name that comes to mind when thinking of the arena’s potential culinary partners. Might we suggest a little place called Café Zamboni?
Uniforms: Designed by Luly Yang. Look for sweaters in easy-to-pack, breathable cashmere; pants in reversible, fast-drying rayon; and skates in high-top, low-rise and slip-on styles.